All right. This is the start of Operation Get Shit Together.
It has to be. I’m a wreck these days. I still can’t get pregnant, I’m suffering numerous ill effects from hypothyroidism despite the doubling of my medication, my mood swings from neutral to ragey to weepy to calm to anxious and back again, I can’t stop thinking about where to move and to top it all off, I just found out I somehow have chronic Achilles tendonitis. What is going on with me? I am falling apart, physically at least if not also a bit mentally.
Oh, I’m not a walking, weeping, incapable-of-normal-human-functioning mess. I’m kicking ass at work and getting commendations, paying the bills, hosting family and friends From Away, making lists and checking them twice. I feel hollow and worn out from the effort, however. I want to feel better, happier, more with-it. I want my energy and drive back. I want to stop worrying about everything all of the time.
I have today, tomorrow and Monday off. I’m going to use this time to reflect on where I’m at and how to get to a better place. I’m a smart lady; I can figure it out.
Yay for getting commendations! That must help make you feel good. As for the rest of it, I’ll be sending you loads of JP. And useless internet hugs.