This blog was not created for the purpose of detailing my experience with infertility, but I find that infertility has colored my life in a way I never imagined. I am infertile and it’s been a gut-wrenching experience. Here is where I plan on detailing my journey to get pregnant, a journey that originally started in June 2007 and has suddenly taken off in September 2008 with the help of an awesome fertility clinic.
June 2007- Start trying to get knocked up. I’m 35, with years of uterine issues (hyperplasia, polyps) and lots of tests and procedures under my belt, so I don’t expect to hit a homerun on my first at-bat (sorry, sorry…I’m watching baseball right now and the metaphor seemed apropos).
September 2007- Ultrasounds and a failed hysterosalpinogram (hsg) lead to a hysteroscopy and a D&C to remove another fibroid. Cervical stenosis is also thrown out there, but my doctor does not seem to think it’s really that bad.
October 2007- Follow-up with my doctor. She tells me to work on losing some weight, but to come back in January and she’ll get me going on Clomid. She tells me I’m not getting any younger and need to take action. No mention is made of monitoring a cycle, even though I know I have a history of progesterone deficiency (took progesterine in summer of 2000- a lovely experience, I might add).
January 2008- Doctor proceeds to tell me that I need to lose 30 pounds by May before she’ll extend fertility treatment because, you know, overweight women die ALL THE TIME when they get pregnant. She casually throws out the line “if you put as much effort into losing weight as you have into getting pregnant, then you’ll be successful”, grins at me and then tells me Brian has to get tested as well. When I go to make the appointment for May, I am told she is booked through the end of July. I leave her office and cry my eyes out.
February 2008- Brian gets tested and the results make me nervous, but are never fully explained. The two of us decide to keep trying on our own, but put off appointments until we make some other decisions.
July 2008- I am now 36. I cancel the appointment with the weight-obsessed OB/GYN and see my primary care doc. She is appalled at the lack of progress and refers me to a fertility specialist. She also has me get tested for a bunch of shit as I have spent the past few months in a serious mental and physical funk.
August 2008- Finally, some answers. My thyroid is out of whack again and I begin taking levothyroxine. Hypothyroidism can play a factor in infertility, as well as wreck havoc on metabolism. No wonder I can’t walk up the stairs in my own house without losing my breath. Zero energy and wonky metabolism explains why I am not losing weight despite my efforts to do so.
September 2008- I meet with with my new fertility doc. I most likely have desynchronized endometrium, which I’ve never heard of before. It means that while I am ovulating (woo!), my lining is inhospital to implantation. Hopefully nothing some hormones can’t fix. Also, Brian’s sperm has motility and viscosity issues. He will start taking vitamin C and mucinex and get another sample taken. I begin my first ever monitored cycle. Finally, I am on the right track.
October 2008- FIrst monitored cycle test results are mostly good. CD 2 on 9/27 testing shows FSH is 4.5 and E2 is 18. Both are excellent numbers according to the clinic. My TSH is down, but still too high at 5.15. My thyroid medication is increased and I start the new dose on 9/30. I start testing daily testing for my LH surge on 10/6 but do not get a positive until almost midnight on 10/11. On 10/10 I go in for an ultrasound and more bloodwork. My E2 is 111, not quite as high as it should be but then it was also almost two days before my surge. Wonder of wonders, my TSH is now 2.66. Brian has a second SA and the results are deemed “normal”- woo hoo! Count is even higher (145 million) and motility and viscosity issues seem to have been resolved with mucinex and vitamin C. Awesome- it’s all on me now. The two of us will meet with the doctor on 11/3 to discuss our next steps. I can’t wait.
November 2008- We meet with the doc (who was on the Donahue Show back in the day, based on a huge picture in his office). I have lots of little issues that are bad enough on their own, but have- of course- combined together to make it hard for me to get knocked up. Late ovulation (but I do ovulate and my FSH is excellent), low estrogen, poor lining, cervical stenosis. Nothing that screams “BARREN FOREVER” however. The plan is to start Clomid with my next cycle and see how my body responds. IUI for the next cycle is a possibility.
December 2008- No Clomid. I go in for a surprise hysterosalpinogram (HSG) and lo and behold, my left tube is blocked and my right tube is scarred. The test itself is painless, but the results? Oh, it hurts. One more thing to deal with. The plan is to get my right ovary to ovulate as much as possible. Clomid, which was initially ruled out, is back in. I will take Clomid during my next cycle. If after two cycles on Clomid I am still not knocked up, I will undergo a diagnostic laproscopy and tubal surgery. Fun. Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.
January 2009- I start my first (and hopefully last) round of Clomid. 50 mg on days 3-7 of my cycle. My primary side effects are headaches, nausea, dizziness and sleeplessness. I do not experience the major moodswings of which I’ve heard so much about. Maybe because I am already an emotional wreck? In fact, Clomid seems to have mellowed me out. Wonders never cease. I go in on CD 13 for an u/s and b/w. The u/s shows two 16 mm follicles on the right ovary. Score! The b/w unfortunately shows my E2 as 92. Not nearly high enough to take the Ovidrel shot. I go back for another u/s on Monday, CD 16, and now there is one 24 mm follicle on the right side (the second one disappeared) and a smaller follicle on my left ovary. Although my E2 is still only 173 (they want to see it over 200), I am given the shot. In between all of this is lots of sex. I have a blood pregnancy test scheduled for February 3.
February 2009- Early Sunday morning on 2/1, I start to bleed. Not a full period, but I always spot for a few days before it starts in earnest. Great. I call my doctor, thinking I can get out of the blood pregnancy test. No dice. I go in on 2/3 and it’s confirmed that I am not pregnant. I get the call at work, so I don’t cry. I will start a new medicated cycle, this time with 100 mg of Clomid (CD 3-7) in the hopes I respond better. The ultrasound on 2/17 shows one mature follicle on the right ovary (yay). I get the trigger shot of Ovidrel and find out later that morning that my e2 is 283. Definitely an improvement. My blood pregnancy test is scheduled for 3/3.
March 2009- Negative. Beta is 2. Heartbroken and devastated after experiencing more pregnancy symptoms than I ever have before. Third round of Clomid and Ovidrel commences. Clomid headaches are intense and almost unbearable. And all for naught. Unfortunately I ovulate on the wrong (left) side. Cycle is a bust. I am now 37.
April 2009- Round four of Clomid: Now with fewer headaches and more raging mood swings! I have one large follicle on each ovary, so it’s another shot of Ovidrel and lots of (mostly) unromantic sex. Beta is set for 5/6.
May 2009- Negative. I am given the choice of one more round of Clomid or an appointment with the doctor. I choose the appointment. 6/1 can’t come soon enough.
June 2009- Wow. It’s now been two years of trying to get pregnant. At my doctor’s appointment, we decide that diagnostic laparoscopy with tubal surgery is the next step. It’s scheduled for 6/25. I am terrified. Not so much about the procedure, but about the results. However, the doc is positive and so am I (mostly). Bring it on! I survive surgery- YES- and so does my left tube. My husband is too shellshocked from making a medical decision on my behalf while I am under to remember much of what my doctor tells him; I must wait until July’s appointment to get the true scoop on my lady bits.
July 2009- Meeting with doctor is mostly positive. I have a greater chance of ectopic pregnancy (about 5%) because the left tube is stretched out but overall my inner bits look good. No sign that the damage was caused by pelvic inflammatory disease or any other undiagnosed STD. Woot. The scar tissue is most likely from a cyst exploding (lovely) but it wasn’t as bad as he feared. He brings up IVF and I cry. The new plan is to try naturally for a few cycles and then dive back into the Clomid pool, so here we go!
August 2009- Still feel like shit despite the increase of my thyroid meds in May. Test results show my TSH is just under 4, which is considered “normal”, but I want it under 2 again. I put my foot down with my PCP and demand another increase and get it. Oh and I have my second period since my surgery.
October 2009- 4th period since surgery starts (on CD 37). I mentally prepare for Clomid and give my doctor a call, only to be told that he wants me to have another hysterosalpinogram to make sure my tubes are still open. Lovely. HSG is scheduled for 11/4.
